Skip to content

Blog

Mandala-gold1

Practicing With Problems: The Dharma of Politics

screen-shot-2016-11-20-at-7-40-15-pm

The first noble truth the Buddha taught was that disease, aging and death are unavoidable forms of suffering (dukkha) which afflict all creatures.   We see analogous events in the body of the planet, where events such as volcanic eruptions,  earthquakes, and fires can erupt without warning. So too, the social body is afflicted with its own forms of  dis-ease;  violence which breaks out in the form of social disorder, injustice, and war. Entropy prevails. We are wise to remember that this has been true in every known human society beginning with tribal groups. It seems especially true now in the globalized and highly interconnected cyber-world in which we are living.

What follows are some of my reflections in regard to how to engage dharma practice with the current political situation. It has been abundantly clear in my own social circle –as well as  experiences shared by patients in my psychotherapy practice — that the presidential election posed (and continues to pose) daunting challenges to equanimity. Many have complained of changes in mood arising in phase with news cycles. Making matters worse, political differences have sometimes become contentious between friends and family members. There is even a name for it:  Election Stress Disorder.

Even though the election is over,  political events remain quite worrisome to many people, and I think it is incumbent upon all of us to inquire deeply about what lessons should be taken from it all.   Adding a bit of levity, I call this inquiry “Practicing With Trump”.    Though the phrase is somewhat tongue in cheek, I do however think that this is an important arena for dharma practice. 

Here are some relevant considerations:

  • Wake-up Call: Many people are feeling grief, sadness, fear, and/or anger in regard to the new political realities.  The particular form of dukkha varies from person to person with differences in circumstances – to cite just a few examples known personally to me, the situation looks different to a young Hispanic woman who fears that her parents may be deported, to a Muslim woman whose daughter has been harassed by classmates at school, and to a Jewish patient who lost family in the holocaust and who fears the possibility that Hitler could rise again. Whatever the particular social and emotional challenges,   I think the ‘bottom line’ in practicing with Trump is to use our emotions as a wake-up call to engage in social action.
  • Contemplating Greed, Hatred, and Delusion in the social arena: These political times provide ample opportunity to see the  ‘three poisons’ of Buddhadharma– greed, hatred, and delusion– in action.  This is heart of the danger, I feel, that Trump represents.  To be awake as Americans means to face the oppressions inherent in the unequal distribution of wealth.  It also means to examine a culture which promotes the life styles of the rich and famous and which all too often ignores the misfortunes and problems of those who are struggling.
  • Staying in the moment: One of the greatest challenges is to avoid drawing conclusions which verify our fears. It is important to bring the mind back to ‘what is so’ and to rest in not knowing in preference to leaping ahead into the unknown future. On the other hand, there may be risk, too, on the other side of fear.   It is important not to engage in ‘spiritual bypasses’ in the effort to remain open-minded;  important not to drift into denial, or to paste a happy face over ominous signs of fascist trends in American culture.

            [Looking for the middle way!]

  • Labeling and ‘Othering’: One of most malignant aspects of the polarization in our culture is the concept of ‘us’ vs. ‘them’.   Important to cultivate compassion for them,  and to keep looking for our common humanity.  

            [Trump voters, just like me, want to be happy and safe from dangers.]                          

  • Wise action: As many people have been acknowledging, this election needs to be a call to action;  to strong resistance of the regressive elements in our society and in pursuit of what we value. To remain cognizant of what I value, I remind myself to evaluate what I say and do against the basic question “what result is this likely to produce, and is it in accord with my highest values?”
  • Empathy and compassion: Easy to send metta to Hillary and Barack.  Can we stretch our empathy and compassion to include Donald? It is easy to see Trump’s egocentrism and ‘malignant narcissism’.   The destructive expression of those traits  can be seen in his reactivity to insult (‘narcissistic injury’ ) as well as in his need to be superior at the expense of others: racism, misogyny, and bullying at the cultural level.

My therapist self reminds me that underlying narcissism there is always a great unmet need to be loved.  Trump is driven by his need to be a hero as well as by his huge need (the hugest!) to be seen. Donald basks in the immense admiration of millions of followers,  and they in turn feed off the power of their idol.

With a narcissistic patient, I would look for healthy areas of ego function that I could support,  ways to help channel narcissistic motivation into constructive action.   Are there ways to do that in the political arena?  Can I find ways to support Donald Trump that are in accord with my values?

  • Finding The Wisdom: What is good and bad, ultimately? Is there really any way to demark them as separate? Are they not only different degrees of the same?

I am reminded of an old Taoist parable about the farmer whose only possession of any worth was the horse he used to work the fields.  One day, as the story goes,  the horse ran away.

The farmer’s wife and son were distraught. Upon hearing the news, his neighbors came to visit. “This is terrible”, they said.

The farmer mused “is this good, or is it bad?  We shall have to wait and see”.

Several days later, the farmer’s horse returned, leading a whole herd of wild horses into his corral. The farmer’s wife and son were ecstatic. “How wonderful,” the neighbor said. “Now you are the richest man in the village”.

The farmer once more mused, “Is this is good or is it bad? We shall have to wait and see.”

The following day, the farmer’s son tried to ride one of the wild horses, was thrown and broke his leg. This was a seeming catastrophe. How could the farmer survive without the help of his son. “This is awful”, everyone agreed. “Such a great misfortune”.

“Is this good, or is it bad? We shall have to wait and see”, the farmer said resignedly.

As the shaggy dog story goes on, war soon broke out. All the young men in the village were drafted into the army, save the son with the broken leg. His broken leg turned out to be not such a terrible event after all!

From the perspective of this wisdom, the challenge is always simply to look for a better frame for relating to events; not from the perspective that things are getting worse, but instead from the perspective of the potential good that may be unfolding. Can we relate to events with more acceptance and less judgment? With an open mind?

Living With The Devil :   In his book Living With The Devil: A Meditation on Good and Evil, Stephen Batchelor reminds us that the greatest weapon of the devil (both devils outside and the devils within)  is the climate of fear.

This lesson was illustrated in a well-known Star Trek episode in which Captain Kirk and friends encountered a powerful and evil being on another planet who posed the threat of annihilation.   Just in the nick of time,  the ‘good guys’ woke up to the reality that the adversary was being fueled by the energy of their own fears.  The true enemy was their own fear!

To live wisely with the devils that we encounter, we must first look for ways that we are reifying circumstances or that our reactivity may be contributing to the very outcomes we most fear.

  • What I hope: Perhaps in the absence of the obstructionist stalemate that has made our government so dysfunctional since the election of Obama, something will now break loose. Something important in the collective psyche has emerged for recognition:  apparently millions of our fellow citizens have been feeling very disenfranchised.   Now that the social fracture between Red and Blue factions in our society has made itself painfully clear, perhaps we can find creative ways to respond to and heal it.  Perhaps through our willingness to look for the opportunities in this apparent catastrophe, something new may yet emerge?

We shall have to wait and see.

May it be so!

That’s How the Light Gets In

How Lights Gets In

 

Ring the bells that still can ring / Forget your perfect offering / There is a crack in everything / That’s how the light gets in.

                                                   — Leonard Cohen

The Autumn of Life

Autmn of Life
It comes as a great shock to many of us: the sense of being lost and the fear that we have somehow missed the boat in life.

As our days continue to speed along, the urgency to connect with who we really are compels us to dig deep and find answers. What now?

In this crisis of meaning, the challenge is to find ways to recreate and to revitalize ourselves in the face of change and loss.

Now Moments

 

NOW MOMENTS: 

The “ Here and Now ”

 

here and now

The Here-and-Now is the subjective space in which we meet our experience as it is happening.   It is the space in which we authentically meet ourselves;  the place of our encounter with our sensations, perceptions, and mind states.  Here-and Now is also where we engage the interior conversation that, for better or for worse, creates the framework that determines the quality of our lives. 

I like the idea of encountering the here-and-now because it underscores the fact that the way we meet the moment is a dynamic, transactional process.   Moments flow one into the next, giving us the opportunity to learn to dance with life.   We can attune our awareness to the emerging moment in a way that optimizes our ability to remain balanced and in a state of flow.

“NOW MOMENTS” —moments in which we are aware of the here-and-now— can be described in two basic ways:  as PRESENT MOMENTS and as MOMENTS OF PRESENCE.  Each moment of the here-and-now is both a particular moment of chronological time and a moment when we can be present with ourselves (or not).  

NOW MOMENTS are moments in which we are present to (or with) the here-and-now of our experience and, at the same time, are aware that we are present.  In other words,  now moments are moments of self-reflection.  They are moments in which we are present to an experience of Being.

The depth and vividness of Now Moments are of particular interest in both meditation and in the process of mindfulness-informed psychotherapy.   NOW MOMENTS provide the opportunity to bring awareness to how we relate to the process of living,  both within ourselves (our feelings, mood, and narratives)  and in our interaction with others.    We can notice and reflect upon how we do and don’t flow with the moment; the nature of the difficulties we have in being with the present moment, and what takes us away from the moment.

Deepening our awareness of the dance of life allows to frame the moment with wise and compassionate intentions towards our situation, ourselves, and others.

Core Wounds

living with wounds

Most problems boil down to the wounds we have incurred in relationship with others.

Hurt, rejection, and disappointment get elaborated into walls around our hearts that keep us painfully separate from others.   

To heal our wounds, we need to face them squarely and see them clearly. Unfortunately, it is often hard to see what is blocking us, especially aspects of ourselves which may have been disavowed or which are quite unconscious. (if we could see our own blind spots, they wouldn’t be blind!) 

The empathic connection in mindful psychotherapy can help you define your psychological needs, learn how to communicate them, and maximize the opportunities for getting them met.

Embracing The Uncertainty of Life

Uncertainty tightrope

When confronted with the uncertainty and vulnerability that accompanies life’s inevitable         difficulties,  mindful psychotherapy can provide the perspective and support needed to regain emotional balance. 

Emotional balance is a function of the capacity to bring awareness to what unsettles and unbalances us.   The best way to engender emotional resilience and stability is to bring negative feelings to the surface where they can be explored, deeply felt, and released in the presence of an empathic other. 

Difficulty in modulating emotional states often indicates unresolved developmental issues festering beneath the surface.   We all fall under the influence of unconscious dynamics which negatively affect and suffocate our ability to think, feel, work, and love.   Deep emotional understanding of what is getting in our way can help resolve these difficulties.

On the other side of fear, shame, and confusion, you will be empowered to make more            effective choices.

Going With The Flow

 

Go With Flow Water

The ability to go with the flow depends on our ability to listen deeply to the voice of our own wisdom in order to hear what life is speaking.  We need to learn to relate to ourselves in a way that optimizes the mind’s natural organization and balance.

Learning to “go with the flow”  is one of the basic goals of many awareness practices (such as mindfulness meditation).    By bringing conscious awareness to life as an ongoing process,  we can endeavor to receive life:   to open to life instead of struggling against it.  We can practice understanding that it is simply not possible to push the river.

When we can go with the flow in this way, we come into greater harmony with ourselves and with reality.   We increasingly discover, as Buddhist teacher Pema Chodron famously said, that this moment is the perfect teacher.   Life carries us downstream and unfolds without effort.

Present Moment, Moments of Presence

presence

The quality of presence is deep knowing of the Here-and-Now To be present means being aware in a way which is open, attentive, balanced, and flexible.   We can cultivate the ability to Be Present deliberately by practicing bringing our attention to the Here and Now.  This is the art of Meditation.

We can also cultivate Presence in our relationships in the simple act of connecting deeply with someone else.  When we participate in another person’s lived story,  or when we create a mutually lived story with them, more than just an exchange of information occurs.   Something new emerges.  Happiness is born in this act of connection, of interpersonal presence.   This is one of the secrets of the “here and now”. 

Relational connection is the heart of our humanity.

The Past Is Not Dead

 

The past is never dead. It’s not even past.

         — Wm Faulkner

past time

We are all influenced by memories and experiences we may not remember or  fully understand.   These live in the mind as emotional tangles or knots of emotion, thought, and behavior:  areas of ‘non-experienced experience’ in the psyche which encode unhappy, negative events from the past.   These tangles become the basis of self-fulfilling prophesies:  long-standing repeated patterns of upsets and problems in which our emotional history repeats itself. 

Emotional tangles become ingrained in our lives and show up in the recurring experiences of reactions, upsets, and problems.   We need to identify these patterns and begin to see how these reflect and express unhappy, negative views of ourselves that we have taken in from others.  Bringing awareness to the experience of being upset is the first step.   As we change what is inside, the outside can also change.

The Wisdom In Deep Listening

Colorful Tree

Psychotherapy is about finding those parts of us which have been lost from awareness. What has been lost from consciousness leaves a hole , a place which feels empty –  an inner sense of deep deficiency or unworthiness.   When we turn our attention to exploring these empty places within,  we can find memories of hurt feelings and conflicts that block our natural ability to connect to others.

Our most habitual and compelling feelings and thoughts define the core of who we think we are.  When we are caught up in a sense of being unworthy, the universal sense that ‘something is wrong’ turns into the feeling that ‘something is wrong with me’.  This felt sense keeps us on the run, driven by desperate efforts to get away from ourselves.

In psychotherapy we pay attention to what someone is doing to ‘fill’  the holes they feel within:  addictive attachments to substances, activities, and people.  Ironically, our improvised ‘solutions’ to pain most often result in new, worse problems!  By exploring the strategies used to block the feeling of what is painful,  and by bringing awareness to the underlying feelings,  we find the path to healing.

Our empty places, our ‘holes’, can ultimately only be filled by connection: by being listened to and by learning to listen deeply to ourselves.   In psychotherapy, this involves bringing attention to what is being said and what is not being said.  This quality of deep listening connects us heart-to-heart and cultivates the capacity for self-compassion.