“Pain and bliss, love and hate, are like a body and its shadow” — Ikku
Night/day, Light/dark, life/death, and similar pairs are interdependent. Neither stands alone; each has meaning only in relation to other. Opposites turn into each other with unpredictable frequency.
Consider how this works in love relationships. The very trait that attracted us to a lover in the first place turns into its opposite; “quiet and sensitive” becomes “never shares his feelings”. What you now find so irritating is the underbelly of what attracted you in the first place. It’s not his fault: he didn’t change after you met him.
The problem lies in our insistence upon one side of the coin without the other. Pleasure and pain mutually co-exist. The problem with pain is aversion, and the problem with pleasure is clinging. The solution is to include your whole life: the parts you like and the parts you don’t.