The Paradoxical Nature of Love Relationships

“Pain and bliss, love and hate, are like a body and its shadow”    —     Ikku

Night/day, Light/dark, life/death, and similar pairs are interdependent.  Neither stands alone; each has meaning only in relation to other.  Opposites turn into each other with unpredictable frequency.    

Consider how this works in love relationships.  The very trait that attracted us to a lover in the first place turns into its opposite;  “quiet and sensitive” becomes “never shares his feelings”.  What you now find so irritating is the underbelly of what attracted you in the first place.    It’s not his fault:  he didn’t change after you met him. 

The problem lies in our insistence upon one side of the coin without the other.  Pleasure and pain mutually co-exist.   The problem with pain is aversion, and the problem with pleasure is clinging.  The solution is to include your whole life: the parts you like and the parts you don’t.